Monthly Archives: May 2016

A poem

It stings only slightly
So much less than the pain inside
It’s slow but such a pretty color
And it soaks into everything she wants to hide
The world fades to a faintness
Silence fills her ears
All the colors blur into cold darkness
All that’s left is the sting of her tears
Thoughts slow to a peaceful wondering
Will they forgive her for not being strong
Will she get to go home to her loved ones
That she’s needed so badly for so long
She knows that it’s selfish and ugly
But the pain was just too much to take.
She couldn’t stop the tears anymore
And a smile became to hard to fake
She was too young to leave it all unfinished
But her spirit was broken and tired
She believed they’d be better without her
She felt that her time had expired
Would anyone truly miss her
Would they wish they’d have told her her worth
Would the say she was beautiful and wish they would have tried
To make sure she knew she was the world in their eyes
Or would she fade out in eternity as she had in her life
After she felt the sting of the knife

I know it’s morbid and it’s hard to read. I also know that it’s is hard to understand for many who have not dealt with depression on any major level. I have written this poem because I have been at my limit many times. I have wondered what it would be like to not have to feel anything anymore. I want to live but I don’t feel like I’m living. My children keep me here but I don’t feel that it’s to their benefit. This poem is simply to show the feelings that someone may be experiencing in their lives, it is not a statement that I have any intention of an ending. I just have a lot of pain I am trying to work through. While the thought of a simple peace is appealing,
        My Story’s Not Over